One of my busiest weeks ever.
I come home, try to read a few pages of material before collapsing on my bed to take a nap. Naps which i never usually take. Naps which i have taken EVERY SINGLE DAY of this week. Naps that are refreshing enough for me to resume studying but exhausting enough to skip any physical workout that i want to do. I have not been to any BJJ training this week. I have only attended my soccer trainings because it is a team sport and therefore irresponsible on my part to miss just because i am unmotivated. (Thank God i joined a team sport or i would have morphed into a couch potato a long time ago.)
There is so much material to revise, assimilate and apply. There are so many lectures, tutorials and presentations to attend. There is barely enough time for me to sleep.
I try to push myself but the guilt from sacrificing certain activities is eating me alive. That day, i spent the morning reading journal articles. Then i felt extreme guilt and misery for not going onto the wards to see a few patients. I spent one hour agonizing over my ridiculousness. Fellow medical students were appalled and told me to cut myself some slack and that i deserve some time off. Fortunately, the afternoon was spent a little more productively revising my clinical skills. But why oh why is my timetable scheduled such that i have lectures from 7-9am; a gaping big hole in the afternoon and then another lecture at 5pm?? This is so disruptive.
Argh. I regain motivation to study in the night but feel a saturation in information assimilation after two hours. I could of course practice my flute, or read through my languages but then i feel so DAMN GUILTY. And then of course when i decide not to practice my flute or look through my languages, i feel so DAMN GUILTY AGAIN.
You got to love life.
Anyway, enough ranting. It is 9.30pm. I should get some flute practice in. So damn tired. Too bloody busy. Overstretched for time.