When you want something so bad…

Prior to applying for a hospital to work in next year, i never had a preference. In a way, i think i was preventing myself from having a preference lest i get disappointed. And the risk of being disappointed is especially higher because we are not on an even playing field here. But it is very difficult not to get swept up by the hype and to abstain from excited discussion amongst friends. Now, i find myself in the damn hole that i was very carefully trying to avoid. Now i have a preference, and i’m anxious.

The funny thing is that this hospital was to my knowledge, never a popular destination. In fact, most friends are trying to persuade me out of it. Yet, they are playing hard to get. Why? I do not know. I don’t know whether i am trying too hard, but it is better to give it my best shot i suppose. I just hate being a try-hard at times. I hate being the food that the cat plays with. If you discriminate against internationals, at least be upfront about it. Don’t waste my time working on the application only to reject me the minute the dateline lapses. (This has already happened. I have a very bad impression of how this country works.)

Anyway, i am not a quitter. I will still give it my best shot. Something good has to come out of it. Maybe it is a life lesson thrown in…at the price of over 1k. Sigh.

I need to get a suit carrier too. Was deciding between one with wheels and one as a shoulder carrier. I don’t think it will look too professional striding into a hospital in a suit and lugging a damn luggage behind me. Wondering whether the Samsonite or the Antler one is more appealing. Will probably decide next week. Please keep your fingers crossed and hope that i score myself an interview.


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