MIA

I have been missing in action for a few days. Life has just been absolutely mad at the moment. This whole week was spent frantically zooming from one hospital to another; the hospitals were holding information sessions for impending medical graduates. My first interview is up next week, and other than trying on my skirts (strewn in different areas of the house, don’t ask why – i am just bad at housekeeping – decided never to wear skirts after my orthopedics rotation last year), yes they still fit, thank God, i have not gotten around to dry-cleaning them. My only significant progress i suppose, is purchasing stockings for my interview attire. Even then, i had to be guided by my housemate since the last time i wore stockings was more than 15 years ago, when i was 7?? After the stockings, another decision looms – black or skin-coloured? My suit is black. I am accustomed to skin-coloured stockings, and it looks less funeral-like; but it seems the locals are all hell bent on wearing black stockings. I bought one of each colour to try on tonight. If the skin-coloured stockings can cover up the innumerable bruises/scraps i have collected from my sporting activities; i am probably going to wear them.

And i think the big decision that i have been mulling over was to decide whether i would like to put family or career first. I realize maybe it ain’t as simple as i think it should be. For the moment (and i do hope this decision sticks), i have decided to hell with it, the family will come wherever i go, whatever i do. Since i really really want to practice third world medicine and to make a real difference from the moment i graduate, i should just stop putting it off. Previously, i have always told myself that i will practice third world medicine when i am more advanced in my training, but you know what, it is very difficult to plan where Life is heading to, plus i am also having to put up with the nagging fear that i may get too comfortable, and then decide never to practice medicine in the developing world again.

Therefore, i am going to do rural medicine in the most disadvantaged areas. The problem now is whether the relevant institution believes in my sincerity and will offer me a job.

All right, i am running out of time. Between writing up resumes and cover letters and preparing for interviews (which i have not even started!), i need to put in some studying for my exams in three weeks (which is almost non-existent at the moment). I have been feeling incredibly stressed the last few days, to the point where i could not sleep, yet refused to get out of bed. I recognized those symptoms, and knew i had to do something before it spirals out of control. All my lessons have been halted temporarily; and i am starting to skip a few of my BJJ training sessions. Soccer is another problem. I think i have pledged my commitment to the wrong club, or at least our interests are misaligned. It is too late to get out of it now, just because i do not think it is right to abandon a team even though they are not holding up their side of the bargain properly. Just a couple more months and the league will be over, and i shall be free to source out for newer recreational clubs.

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