I rocked up to BJJ training today only to discover it was a no-gi training – we train in t-shirts and shorts instead of the usual martial arts outfit we wear. I hate no-gi training not because it is more challenging to grapple but because my t-shirt will definitely be tugged out of my shorts and i will be baring flesh.
I am conservative; there’s no doubt about it. I can talk shit sometimes, and speak dirty, but it is usually in the presence of close friends. Hell, i am 24 and i have never worn a bikini, and don’t intend to. I deck out in pants and t-shirts all the time; no sleeveless tops or shorts, even in scorching summer. Anyway, you get the point.
And then today i was in the middle of a fighting bout and i felt my t-shirt ride up and up and up. Till i was clearly revealing my sports bra. But i could not tug my t-shirt down, because dude, i am fighting; and i am not winning. I am struggling; my opponent has got me in a hook, and i am trying not to get strangled. And so i was extremely exposed. What really made things worse was that of the two dozen people present for training, there was only one other girl, and the rest were guys. And there were a couple of males who were sitting by the sidelines just watching the others fight because they were taking a break or got injured or something. I was acutely aware of the unsolicited attention that i was probably getting. Then was probably the time when i wish their egos kicked in, and hope they were observing the other males fight instead of getting a spurt of testosterone at the opposite sex.
Also i felt my opponent’s bare arm against my bare skin, which made me feel even worse. Argh. Anyhow, i flipped into a defensive stance when a sudden chilling thought popped into my head – did he manage to push up my sports bra too? I was horrified. The answer is no, but the scare was real enough. If we are going to have more of such training, i think it will do me good to invest in a tight shirt, at least for modesty’s sake.
The only positive thing from training was that i had a read through two survival techniques for white belts in my reference book before i attended the session. I successfully executed them during my fighting bouts which was a good thing, so now i can move on to mastering the next two techniques.
I came home and still felt quite traumatized and had to call a few friends to debrief. Only girlfriends can empathize and provide reassurance. My friends did not exclaim or recoil in horror, but just found the incident amusing so that was a relief – that i did not just commit a blasphemous sin or something.