For the past two weeks, i have sort of been suffering from a bout of severe malaise. I am not quite sure what it is, makes me wonder whether i caught any EBVs or CMVs or the other notorious Vs from someone somewhere. I cannot explain this exhaustion. And maybe i am in denial; my body is no longer able to cope with physical exertion as efficiently as i was able to a few years ago. Maybe i have got a mild concussion from the rough tumbling i took in my last BJJ session, or the two soccer ball hits i coped when i was training last week. I don’t know. But i need to rid myself of this severe fatigue. It is disrupting my sleep which is now affecting my concentration during lectures. Fuck. And i have noticed my fuse has grown steadily shorter and my anger more intense. What the heck.
Also today i noticed my soccer boots are wearing out. They are six years old so i suppose it is high time for a new pair. But i am not ready for one. I need more goalkeeping practice but this coach does not seem to have enough control of the team. Too much talk, too much laugh, too much fooling around. And then at the end of the week, we do two hour circuit trainings just before our match. Is this really the right way to be match-ready? I can’t recover in time to be match fit. And i am smashing my left knee doing too many dives. I am frustrated.
Frustration, i have noticed, seems to be a constant companion in my Life.