Thrown into the deep end

After a three week hiatus, i resumed my BJJ training. My sprained arm no longer aches when i flex it, which is a good thing because whenever i feel the discomfort, i think murderous thoughts of the fool who inflicted this injury on me.

Training held many rude shocks for me.

I found out all the coaches have left and have been replaced by a new guy whose training style i have yet to decide if i like. Today’s training session saw me being thrown into the deep end and i was left to fend for myself. Clearly i lost all my fighting bouts. I am really angry. I am not upset about losing; but i am really unhappy that i was not taught any techniques to get out of any holds or locks that my more advanced opponent was carrying out on me. Many times, i lost my position of advantage because i just don’t know what to do. What is the point of all these?

The advanced students were not segregated from the beginners. We learnt a neck lock today. My training partner is an advanced belt so she was hell-bent on practicing this maneuver fast. Which meant i had very little time to react – to tap out once i feel my neck is about to snap or i was about to faint from the lack of oxygen. I thought i was going to sprain my neck. I was livid. Also i wondered if she was even abiding by the rules because on more than one occasion, she actually ignored my taps and continued with the neck lock. This was getting dangerous (and it was the exact reason i walked away from Judo six years ago. The black belt i used to train with had an ego that made training with her a hazardous occupation). I wondered whether i will dislodge any potential thrombus in my carotid arteries and trigger a stroke. I cannot understand why these advanced players are behaving like these. I know that when i trained with a junior in Judo, i hold back and let the person practice their techniques. I certainly did not go all out to eliminate them – what glory is there if it is a no-brainer you will win??

And we didn’t train with gis – we trained in t-shirts and pants. My training partner is quite well-endowed. When she was performing one of her techniques which involved a face crush…do you really need me to describe? My two seconds of horror when my brain was filled with scandalous thoughts were replaced by an overwhelming need for oxygen. And when i got precious air into my own lungs, i was filled with disgust and repulsion. From now on, added to my list of CONTRAINDICATIONS IN BJJ, will be avoiding any positions which makes me vulnerable to a set of breasts being unceremoniously shoved into my face. I cannot tell you how revolted i am. Fucking hell. Makes me enraged that the coach forced all of us to train without gis; makes me upset why this girl refused to wear a t-shirt but instead opted for a singlet.

Argh. You probably guess right that training went very badly. I was not amused at all.

I thought of quitting training altogether just because it was getting too dangerous and i was not getting anything out of it save for dubious experiences. But…i can’t. I am not a quitter. I need to get this right. Need to prove to myself that i will get on top of this. [Insert sounds of severe frustration here] It means i have to self-study, because clearly the coach cannot handle a large class size with varying skill levels.

Anyway i just ordered this book from Amazon. I hope it arrives soon, so i can improve my fight on the mats.

In disbelief that i am taking this seriously enough to want to self-study.

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