Pathological admiration

You know how some people are filled with so much respect for you, their admiration so open, it is almost embarrassing? I get that quite often by virtue of my profession. I usually just shrug it off, especially if it comes from someone my age or younger. I know i have accomplished quite a lot compared to my peers, so i can understand their sentiments. (And no, i am not being conceited, i am just saying, that is all. Compared with the other medical students my age, that will be a different issue althogether. I am considered mediocre. So anyway…)

I had this open admiration from one of my language teachers. She is way older than me, probably make better pals with my mother than me i reckon. Don’t get me wrong, she is a great teacher and i really enjoy my language lessons with her. But when her admiration became very obvious because i am in the medical profession, i was quite uncomfortable. She was quite open about it, saying that i am in a very respectable profession. I wanted to remind her that she is in a noble profession herself. Teaching requires so much patience it ain’t funny. At least in medicine, when i get bored, i sedate the garrulous patient. Ok i am kidding about that. But yet, i am very uncomfortable with the load of respect she is giving me. Call me old school, but i think admiring someone younger is just wrong.

We were practicing my conversation skills, using family as a topic. (Why do language teachers like to talk about family anyway?? It always perplexes me. Isn’t it rude to inquire about one’s family even if it is for educational purposes?) Being the daft one, i am not accustomed to lying, so i was very honest about my answers. Ok, i can lie, but i can’t blatantly lie to someone who has done no harm to me. And it seems the more answers i gave, the more excited she became. I had the impression she was very curious about my upbringing, and she wanted to know what was the key that landed me in med school. Being the private one, i got increasingly uncomfortable, to that point that i am still brooding about this a few days later. I am a little distressed by this.

I am going to start lying the next lesson. I have a wall that i would like to keep erect around me. Strangers are not welcome. You gotta earn your pass.

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